Missing Her
by Black Slasher
Summary: He wanted to move forward but he can't. Because for him, it means forgetting.


**Missing Her**

It was raining and he didn't know what came to him. He was looking outside, waiting for it to stop. Memories came flooding back to him as he watches his children play and practice under the calm pouring rain. They are happy. Just like _them_.

Back then.

_Yamanaka-Inuzuka Ino._

Her name _is_ his favorite words.

Remembering how her long blonde hair would flutter when they would ride at Akamaru's back, eyes as pure as the ocean sky shining on the deep orange sunset with shades of different colors of red, blue and mostly, her favorite color which is purple.

They grew close as time goes by. He always comes to visit her and they had missions together. Giving him more time to spend with her and realizing how they feel about each other. Making moves on her but failing epically as she always loves to brush him off but deep inside she was really happy. Awfully happy.

But whenever they fought, he'll always run after her. Buying flowers on their flower shop for peace offering was so embarrassing, but what can he do? They have the most beautiful flower that suits her perfectly in his eyes. She always bosses and demands him. She's loud and vain. Annoying sometimes. But when he catches her smiling, he knew that all the effort was _worth_ it. That he'd actually do _everything and anything_ just to see her eyes twinkle as she smiles and how she'd blame him but kisses him afterwards. Those are one of his happiest moments with her.

Of course, other than when he had asked her how she plan to spend the rest of _their_ life and she had answered _together . ._ . _always and forever_ with a very beautiful yet simple genuine smile. She had laughed while teasing him that he had already declared they will marry each other but she herself, had a deep shade of red on her cheeks.

They were so happy. And to be given with such energetic twins. His life was blessed. He couldn't wish for anything anymore. He was very lucky, even luckier than the fifth Hokage, Uzumaki Naruto.

But it always never lasts.

On her last mission, nobody knew how it broke his heart. Waiting for her happily but ended up mourning as her teammates brought her limp and cold body. He was frozen with terror as he looked at their eyes full of sorrow. His heart clenched and pound over his chest again and again and again.

He wanted to shout. To yell. Is this a prank? But when he held her in his arms, he _knew_ it isn't. It was her. Dead and lifeless. Cold and . . . _gone forever_ . . .

_Gone forever . . ._

It echoed on his mind over and over again. He'll never have a chance to touch her. Hold her. Or feel her loving warmth. He shook her thinking that maybe, she was just sleeping. Fooling everyone. But she never woke up. Tears filled his eyes. He cried. Even if he hated when people see his emotions. He didn't care. Because at that moment, there was only _him and her_.

He cried and cried. Tears kept falling even as he closed his eyes. He tried to shout her name but he had no voice. It felt like he lost all his energy. All his power. His power to live and move forward. And when he looked at her. He knew he _really_ lost it. Lost everything that meant _anything_.

He lost _his_ everything.

It was so hard then. And it still is now. But he _believes_ he is recovering. Though when he thinks about her at night. _Every night_. He knew he is not getting _any_ progress.

He almost lost his mind. Maybe, he actually _did_. He would go and drink every night to drive the pain away. But the pain is only forgotten temporarily. But when his drunk and can't even hold himself still, that's when all the pain rush to him. Flooding his mind and heart. Making him suffer twice the pain when he's sober.

That was the first time a ninja was seen by civilians _broke down and cry_.

All their friends tried to understand his sadness. They helped him, but it never was enough. He was still breaking inside. _Every time_.

He even had to fight himself from the edge of wanting-needing to _go_ after her.

There was never a cure.

_Time_. It was important for her. Would time heal him? But in all honesty, he does not want it to. It only means forgetting. Because he would never _be able_ to accept a dear one's death. _Never_.

He wanted to move forward. He has a family after all. They are the only thing that kept him sane. That kept him going and fighting. So losing them would mean instant _death_. They too suffered. But he had to live_. Even when the reason was long gone now_. Maybe, his children would give him reasons to live. His children are her too. He wants a reason to be happy. Reason to smile genuinely _once more_.

So he left his beloved village, Konoha. It was cruel. Hurtful.

Sometimes he would think that she too is suffering. Because she was force to leave them. And that's how he got something to blame her for. Leaving them. And hurting herself in the process too.

As his children went on playing and running on the pouring rain, he remembered what Sakura, her best friend and old rival, told him before the day they left Konoha.

"_I'm sorry", the pink-haired medic nin said._

_He just looked at her. Afraid that if he talked, he would break down. Sakura's eyes started to water. "I'm going to visit her". She blinked back the tears. There was a long pause. "I wasn't able to save her". She was gripping the tulips she was holding. "I could have", she started again and tears rolled down her cheeks endlessly. "But I was too late", she choked as the words were voiced out. "I'm sorry! I was not able to save her! I'm sorry!"_

_His heart clenched. Stop._

"_It was hard for everybody", she continued. "But I know it was the hardest for you", she smiled as tears continued to roll down her cheeks. "I'm sorry. I really am. I didn't want that to happen"._

_His heart clenched tighter. Stop._

"_We lost her", she couldn't stop crying. There was a long pause again. "Ha-ha. Even in death, she had won. I was so sure I'd definitely be the first", she wiped her tears with both her hands "you know, with all her dieting and healthy stuffs", and she choked the words._

_His breath was heavy. That's what he thought so too. That he would definitely die first. So she'll cry and the tears will be for him. They often joke about those things._

"_I lost to her", she said with voice full of sorrow. The hands that wiped her tears stayed there. She covered her eyes as if by doing so, he wouldn't see her cry._

_He wanted to comfort the fellow ninja. But he dare not. He couldn't even comfort himself from all the sufferings even if it's just a little bit._

_Sakura put her hands down a moment later. "She told me . . . to tell you", her voice shaking as she try to stop herself from crying "to love her, to cherish her", her voice cracked. "Always and forever", and again that day she cried._

_He held her shoulders taking her as support. An act of comforting to Sakura in other people's eyes. But in truth, it was more for him._

_Her emerald eyes started to water again. Like how the vast blue sky started to shower tears from heaven. "You've got quite a bossy wife there, Kiba". She tried to smile as her tears blend with the water from the sky. She covered her mouth to stop herself from saying anything anymore._

"_Yeah", that was his first reply to her but his voice cracked on the very first word. "Still demanding even when she's going to . . ." his breath hitched. He can't say it. He tried to smile but was failing miserably. "Seriously. She was very demand-" he can't even bring himself to continue what seems like a repeating sentence. He gulped when he felt a lump being formed on his throat. He tried to blink back the tears that filled his eyes. His mind spinning around. And then it felt so hard to breath._

_His hold on Sakura's shoulder tightens and it felt like he's going to crash her bone. But she let him do what he wanted. She understood it. The pain of losing someone. Only this time, it was harder. Because there will never be a possibility of them coming back. "Even when she was dyin—even . . . the last time, I had to a-admit", her clenched fist tightens "she still was very . . . beautiful", Sakura said in a muffled voice as she cry. Remembering how she looked when she was dying. Blood stained her torn purple outfit. Platinum blonde hair mixing with mud and bits of red from her wounded head. Cream skin being covered by red blood and pink lips spilling blood as she choked her last words. But her eyes are as good as always. As vast and as clear as the blue sky. Until life left it, forever. Her eyes were staring right back at the heaven when it lost its glow. She could still remember how the sky would reflect on her eyes._

"_Beautiful . . . it was her". He couldn't hold it in any longer. It was cruel. Sorrowful. How they took his life away from him. Why did it ever have to happen?_

_His hand on the medic nin's shoulder grabbed his hair tightly. Nails digging onto the scalp as he tasted something salty inside his mouth. He did not care even if it starts to bleed. He does not even feel the pain. Cold breeze started to blew but it didn't shiver them the slightest bit. Their minds were somewhere far, still mourning. The pouring rain became strong and the sky grew darker as it had been for the past few days. Dark clouds only made his pain feel a lot heavier. Why can't it be a bright new day? How ironic. If it did, he'd only wish for the opposite._

_He was no longer standing. He just found himself kneeling on the ground one hand gripping his chest. The pain was too much to bear. The wet hand on his dripping brunette hair slide on the triangular red mark on his cheek living traces of water that was soon washed away by the rain._

_Both his hand traveled down and gripped his now wet black trousers. Tears directly falling on the ground as it continued to pour. And then he was on all fours, arms supporting his body with his fist clenched on the gravel looking like it's gonna bleed. Biting his lips and tasting copper on his mouth as he calls her name on his mind over and over again. He poured his life out._

_Ino! Ino!_

"_It will be alright", Sakura said crying with him._

_It won't_. It never will. That's what he wanted to tell her. And he knew that she, and everybody, knew that.

Was it wrong for him to love his wife with all he got? No. It just always felt so wrong to suffer like this when all he had done was loved her.

A light tap on his shoulder interrupted his thoughts. He was sitting by the window while drinking a cup of coffee. He looked at his son and daughter grinning that made him smile. _Smile_. How long has it been?

His and _her_ children are old enough now. They were not ninja. But they knew how to fight. Living in a village miles away from their hometown. They had live 16 years without the warmth of their mother. But he had never ever forgotten to tell them great stories about their mom. How she would boss and demand even the fifth Hokage. How loud she was when she's mad or whenever he eats what she considers a junk food. How she could make him do everything and anything. And how beautiful she was when she smiles.

"Dad", his son called before smirking back at him. "You're looking at mom's photo again". They always caught him staring at the frame of their mother seated on a table with purple cloth and a purple vase of tulips.

It never felt to amaze him how he would always find himself holding that photo whenever his mind drifts somewhere else.

"Missed her?" his daughter joined in and rolled her eyes because_ 'he always does'_.

He would just smile and put the frame down. _Terribly_. "Dry your hair or you'll get colds". The two would always grinned and smirked at this. They sure knew how their father talks. But they love him, also their mother. When he looked outside, the rain had stopped pouring. Bright and clear blue sky. _Just like her eyes_.

Now. He could say he _is_ moving forward. But he will never forget her. Even if it means suffering _always and forever_.

The promise between Yamanaka Ino and Kiba Inuzuka

He'll always keep loving and cherishing her.

_Always and forever_.

Author's Note: First fanfic ever. Hope you like it. I just love the thought of Ino and Kiba because I really, really like Kiba. I think im falling in love with him. He has a ragged look plus he's totally cool! And I find Ino the most beautiful among the konoha babes. Don't you think so? Well, the other women were cute in their own ways. Like sakura, love her emerald green eyes, the buns of ten-ten(find her cute! Really!) I love Hinata, typical shy girl with amazing eyes. Please review. It'd totally help me. Could motivate people like me. I'm sometimes energetically handicapped though it does not look like it(I mean just look at this note XDD) Ehhh! I forgot to tell, im a real Shika-ino fan! Hope to post a new story soon.


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